


Little Miracles

by suncityblues



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Destiel - Freeform, Fix It, Happy Ending, Human cas (kind of), M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, everyone’s really codependent but no one will talk about their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncityblues/pseuds/suncityblues
Summary: Post series/coda/fix-it for s15e20 Carry On.“In the morning Castiel likes to turn his bedside radio on and listen to the news. He’s especially fond of the science segments. Listening to people try and understand the little mysteries of their world in real time makes Cas feel grounded, and less like he’s making a mess of being human, since it seems like no one really knows what’s going on anyway.But they’re trying, and he likes that they’re trying because he’s trying too.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 106





	Little Miracles

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I’m still bitter they did Cas, Dean, and Eileen so dirty haha so here’s another fixit.

In the morning Castiel likes to turn his bedside radio on and listen to the news. He’s especially fond of the science segments. Listening to people try and understand the little mysteries of their world in real time makes Cas feel grounded, and less like he’s making a mess of being human, since it seems like no one really knows what’s going on anyway. 

But they’re trying, and he likes that they’re trying because he’s trying too. 

Sometimes Dean sticks around, because he drank too much the night before or just fell asleep without remembering to go back to his own room, and he’ll grumble something along the lines of: “How can you listen to these nerds talk out of their asses? You know all this stuff better than they ever could.” 

Castiel just shrugs and ignores him, preferring to concentrate on how these people think fractals work, or black holes, or the glands on a dog’s nose. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re wrong. Dean’s always cranky in the morning so Cas knows it’s best not to take him seriously. And besides, Dean always stays for the whole segment, sometimes asking Castiel to elaborate on the topic and sometimes just dozing off until the end before getting up to feed the dog, so he can’t hate it that much. 

These are Cas’ favorite kind of mornings, and they’ve been happening more and more since he got back but he doesn’t know exactly what to make of it. He does not allow himself the luxury of optimism. 

Things feel strange and different now that the world isn’t ending. Too real maybe. For angels everything always had a purpose, a plan, and all things fell into place accordingly. But now, it’s like he’s writing a new story with no outline, one that can be kind of meandering and boring in places, but peaceful too. There’s a kind of power in winging it and just hoping for the best. Maybe life is like poetry or jazz now, though admittedly Cas doesn’t have much experience with either of those things to really know. 

He’ll have time to find out though. A whole hopefully long lifetime to read or listen to anything he pleases. Jack brought him back as a human at his request, with the understanding that he could return to angel-hood anytime, with just a little prayer. Cas doesn’t think he’ll take Jack up on it but he’s aware of how lucky he is, and how loved. He can still do miracles, but only small ones. Making flowers bloom. Healing paper cuts. Boiling water. Cas is grateful for it, like a taste of home without all the family drama. 

Jack had popped him back into existence at a pie festival Sam and Dean stopped at on their way to a hunt. Dean had kissed him in public for the first time that day, after years and years of motel bathrooms and dark corners. It seems significant to Castiel, but Dean’s cultural hang ups always felt dumb to him in the first place so he chooses not to read into it too much. When Dean pulls back he says, “I, uh… I…” but doesn’t manage to finish the thought because Cas is pressing kisses to Dean’s cheeks, the sides of his mouth, his forehead. Dean gets pie on Cas’ nose, but Cas didn’t mind. After that, Sam pulls him into a bear hug. He whispers, “I’m happy for you, man” and Cas doesn’t know if he should to reply to that or not. 

They get so distracted by his reappearance that they lose the trail of the vampires they were looking for. When Cas mentions it to Jack the next time they talk, he replies that it was all for the best. Cas gets the message and doesn’t need to ask for any more details. 

++

The adjustment is hard on Sam and Dean, he can tell. It’s like suddenly their lives are starting in the middle, and it’s not fair they had to wait until their knees were shot and half their friends were dead to have a chance at a real life. 

Sam, at least, still has Eileen. She doesn’t stay with them full time but she swings by the bunker often. Privately one night Sam had asked Cas if he thought Dean would be okay if he joined Eileen on a hunt. Just the two of them. Cas hardly thinks he’s an expert on Dean Winchester’s psyche, but recognizes that Sam is talking to him rhetorically, looking for reassurance. So Castiel tilts his head. “I think Dean will be happy as long as you’re happy, Sam,” he replies cautiously and hopes this is the answer Sam is looking for. It’s not a lie by any stretch but not the whole truth, either. Castiel thinks Dean will worry himself sick, and obsessively check in on his brother, and repress his anxiety so deeply that no one will be able to talk to him about it for days without it turning into a fight about something completely unrelated. Then Sam will come home and Dean will pretend nothing was bothering him in the first place. But he’ll get used to it, eventually. Dean is nothing if not resilient. 

Sam runs his hands through his hair, a little exasperated.  
“Yeah,” he says, “You’ll be here so… he’ll be okay. I think this is good. Right? A good change? You guys are, ah, good? Together?” 

Truth be told, Cas has no idea what Sam’s getting at or why he’s suddenly so nervous and uncomfortable but he just says, “Of course, Sam.” And Sam looks relieved, so Cas knows he said the right thing. 

“Dean can be… well anyway. I’m glad he has you,” Sam continues. Then, with the look on his face Castiel recognizes as the one he wears when he teases his older brother, “But he really doesn’t deserve you.” 

That makes Castiel smile, though he knows they do, in fact, deserve each other. 

++ 

His days start to form a kind of unintentional pattern. He wakes up, listens to the radio, showers, and gets coffee from the kitchen. If Sam isn’t off on a hunt with Eileen that day there’s usually a pot of coffee already brewed, and if he is Castiel makes it himself. He takes his coffee with a bit of almond milk and some cinnamon. Sometimes when he knows Dean’s particularly hungover he’ll make a cup for him too, whole milk, one sugar, and leave it on Dean’s bedside table, careful not to wake him or the dog up. He uses one of his small miracles to keep it warm. 

Then he goes on a walk in the woods. Sometimes he talks to Jack, sometimes he just listens to the trees shift in the wind. By the time he gets home Dean’s usually made breakfast or lunch, depending on what time he rolls out of bed. They eat together, sometimes with Sam and Eileen, or other hunters who roll through town, but usually just the two of them. They talk about movies, or possible new hunts, or Dean’s job search. 

After a while Dean will leave to do his own thing, and Cas will read or watch TV, and then they’ll have dinner. After that maybe a movie or a game of cards, always accompanied by a few beers. They wait until Sam and Eileen go to bed if they’re home and then Dean will put a hand on his knee or his hip or his back and lean in close until they’re kissing. Cas always lets Dean make the first move, he doesn’t want to seem needy, or like he’s asking too much, he’s been human before but all the functions that come along with it still take some time to get used to, and there are boundaries, and so many other complex things to navigate. At some point Cas will pull Dean into his room. They have sex and Cas will fall asleep, and Dean will get up and go back to his room, or he’ll stay and they get up together and listen to the radio and start all over.

They’ve been having sex on and off for years but it’s been different since the empty took him and Jack returned him. It’s not some kind of desperate end of the world adrenaline thing anymore, or an open secret that everyone dances around, it’s deliberate now, and sometimes gentle. They get to take their time, if they want to. And it’s not like Dean doesn’t know how Castiel feels. But they don’t talk about it, Dean hasn’t said it back, and Cas doesn’t want him to if he doesn’t mean it. It makes him a little, something, though. Something between being irritated and sad, he’s not sure exactly what. 

Castiel thinks that, maybe, for the first time in his long, long life he’s bored with what he has, and he wants more. 

++ 

So, he decides to get a job as a distraction, and because that’s what people do. He works from home as a research assistant with a carefully crafted and entirely fake resume Sam helped him come up with. It’s easy work for someone like Cas, but it passes the time and gives him new things to think about, and new people to talk to. He has work friends, and he likes them. Sometimes they see Dean walking around behind Cas when he’s in a meeting and they ask him if that’s his partner. Cas decides to reply with “yes” because it’s easier and more work appropriate than explaining it in full. Besides, mostly they just want to see the dog. 

Still, the word feels nice to say, like a relief. He mentions it to Dean offhandedly, and Dean just shrugs nonchalantly, but gets red at the ears and gently tugs Cas into his room for a nooner. 

Dean hasn’t had any luck with his job search and Castiel pretends not to know that it’s because Dean is stalling for time, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and not really applying to anything with any follow through. Sam’s noticed it too, but doesn’t push the subject, though sometimes he’ll suggest a hunt if Dean’s looking particularly cagey. All three of them are aware that Dean doesn’t have much first hand experience with peace, and the one time Cas tries to help by showing him a construction supervisor ad on his phone, it results in a two day long fight. In the end Dean apologizes and buys Cas a lumpy cactus with a little white flower on it. Cas names it Earl and Dean applies for the job. He gets it. 

Sam spends more and more time away from the bunker with Eileen, and then one day announces that he’s moving in with her. Not far from them, just a few miles into town because Sam misses having a window in his bedroom, and waking up to the sun on his face. Wants to have a bathroom he doesn’t have to share. Wants to buy crappy Ikea furniture he gets to pick out himself. Castiel understands. He wants a window too, because he wants plants in his room, but doesn’t know how to ask Dean about it. He’s afraid Dean will take it the wrong way, and think Castiel wants to leave again. 

Sam gives them each a key to his new apartment, and tells them to come over any time they like. He gets drunk alone with Dean the night before he moves out and long after Cas has gone to bed Dean comes into his room stinking of whiskey and sweat and tears. He lays down next to Cas in bed, puts his arm over him and leans heavily into the crook of Cas’ neck. 

“You’re my best friend,” Dean mumbles, “You’re my best friend and I…” Cas cuts him off with a tame kiss on the forehead, and the miracle sends Dean into a deep dreamless sleep. For whatever reason, now didn’t seem like the right time. His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his chest and wonders if this is normal or if he’s dying. He ends up staring at the ceiling until his alarm goes off. Then, he turns the news on. 

Dean is miserable for an entire week without Sam but brushes it off with a joke whenever Cas asks him how he’s doing, or Sam calls to check in. He starts sleeping through the night in Cas’ bed so often the dog comes too, and then shortly after Dean’s clothes get mixed in with Cas’. Then comes Dean’s shoes, the dog food bowls, and Earl, with a grow light. 

Cas decides to buy a bigger bed because two adult men and a fifty pound dog in a full sized bed is a lot. Besides, he has money now after all, he has a job. 

++ 

Then, one morning they’re laying together listening to the woman on the radio talk about DNA and Dean leans over and places a gentle kiss on Cas’ shoulder. He doesn’t have to say it out loud because by now Cas knows it clear as day, but Dean chooses to say “I love you,” anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I don’t use tumblr too much anymore but I’m suncityblues over there too


End file.
